Tag: blog

  • Organizing My Life

    July 27, 2026

    I got my grade back today for my final demo class of the summer semester. It was 85/100, which honestly isn’t too bad, but I was told that I’m still failing at a skill they critiqued me on from the very beginning. I responded by telling them that as much as I would like to practice the skill, I’ve clearly been doing it wrong, and to continue to practice on my own would equate lunacy. I believe my professor agreed since she said I could pause working on the skill until we’re back together for class in the fall.

    Being back in school is exhausting. Honestly. Of course, I want the degree. Who doesn’t want that shiny diploma and the pay bump that would likely come with it? Who doesn’t want to feel that sense of accomplishment?

    I do.

    Don’t get me wrong. I just envisioned a journey that involved skipping down a yellow brick road. I didn’t envision feeling so down on myself for not being outstanding from day 1.

    Outside of school, I have a lot going on and a lot less money to get things done because of school! It’s a catch-22. I finally made some good money serving this weekend, but I didn’t have time to write or play tennis, and my body feels like it has been pelted by a basket of dodgeballs.

    My mind is in even worse shape.

    Many of my tables were wild, as the general public usually is, but one woman rubbed me the wrong way more than others. She seemed so bitter. We were insanely busy all day from an event in town, and she had no patience from the very first second. She probably waited a long time to get to the table, but I can’t control that, and I didn’t force her to eat there.

    I got her beer tastings, made sure her appetizer came out within minutes, and did my best to take her order as soon as I could. I forgot her kids’ drinks but ran to get them as soon as she reminded me. This is a common mistake, but her energy was downright unpleasant. Nothing I did was good enough, and she had plenty of demands, just like everyone else in the restaurant.

    Truth be told, she probably needs her husband to take her out of that funk. It reminded me of that episode of American Dad when Francine haunts the house because Stan isn’t hitting it right. I definitely got that version of the mom, and fuck dad, do better!

    I don’t hate them, though. They’re just like the rest of us, lost and confused on this little rock floating through the Milky Way. Life constantly shifting like tectonic plates.

    Many changes are happening to me all at once, and I’m not sure how to feel.

    I want to be strong, but part of me wants to run to the past, even though turning back is the absolute worst way to go. If life has taught me anything, it’s that there’s power in overcoming the discomfort. When we prove to ourselves that we can complete what we envisioned, it gives us the strength to build on our pasts to make a better future, but we must be brave.

    After catching my breath, I reached out to my professor to ask for extra study materials. Not because I’m dying to study, trust me I don’t, but because I would rather figure out how to better myself than to fail or give up. It’s how I feel when I play tennis too. Winning matches requires grit, and my master’s program is no different.

    My advice to the cranky, haunted mom would be this:

    Your life and your energy won’t get brighter until you power through the discomfort and take charge of it, no matter what that obstacle might be.

    photo from Mehmet inal on pexels.com
  • Differing Expectations

    July 19, 2026

    I love to play tennis. It’s been my thing for the past eighteen months, and I hope to continue into the future. To play tennis, I unfortunately have to play with other people, which brings me to why I’m writing today.

    This morning, I met up with a buddy who asked me to “go hit”. In my mind, “go hit” means to practice rallies. Try to hit a couple forehands or backhands or do a certain series of hits before opening up for point play. Yet my friend just wanted to play a match. Full intensity.

    Sigh.

    When I play a match, I can get rather competitive. I can yell, pump my fist, and get pretty intense. It’s annoying, to be honest. I just want a friend who will go out and hit a ball with me without all the pressure, but that feels impossible to find.

    There’s just something about points that’ll make a man crazy. Not that I went crazy today, but I wasn’t able to think about my shots and technique as much as I’d like. I was too focused on the scoreboard. I just wanted to hit the ball, chat a bit, drink my water, and go on with my day.

    He came out guns blazing. He’d been practicing lately and wanted to get revenge against me for the last match I won. I didn’t come prepared for what he was bringing. When I play matches, I’m prepared and in the zone, but I wasn’t there today at all. I thought I’d made it clear before we met I just wanted to “go hit”, but I guess I was wrong.

    To be fair, we hadn’t been explicitly clear about what we were planning to do besides “go hit”, but I feel like “go hit” doesn’t imply “play a friendly match” or “play for points”. I’m probably overreacting, but right now I don’t feel like playing tennis with him or anyone else.

    I’ll probably get over it tomorrow, but I wouldn’t be thinking about any of this right now if we’d just hit the ball around for a bit.

    People are exhausting.

    Myself included.

    – Xander

    photo by RDNE Stock Project on pexels.com